I break my silence like the wind.

The Best Kind of Charlatan

2011-11-16T20:07:00.001-05:00

"Poetry comes from a place that no one commands, that no one conquers. So I feel somewhat like a charlatan to accept an award for an activity which I do not command. In other words, if I knew where the good songs came from I would go there more often." -- Leonard Cohen, accepting the 2011 Prince of Asturias Award for Letters He went on to tell a beautiful story about how he found his

I wouldn't call it "white."

2011-09-01T23:25:00.000-04:00

I'm really disappointed with myself. I told a small lie to try and save face about something I should have done months ago. It was so stupid -- I was embarrassed that I hadn't remembered to take care of it, and ashamed that it's gonna be hard to do right now, since I'm coming off of the summer income drought and can't really afford to pay what it's gonna cost to square this away. Still, there

HGTV'd, for REALZ

2011-08-30T01:04:00.008-04:00

I've spent an unpardonable amount of time watching HGTV over the past several weeks. It makes me feel like a bit of a numbnuts -- same stupid formulas recycled in show after show (not to mention the 22 minutes of life I lose every hour I let its dull glow penetrate my skull and destroy my motivation and capacity for independent thought). But it represents something else -- reinvention and

Home

2011-08-28T18:22:00.006-04:00

Just returned home from an easy run. Things outside feel different, good -- breezy, cool, open, fallish. I'd like to say that this is the start of a plan -- I'll go running three times a week, hit the gym three times a week, yaddayadda. That never, ever works for me. So I'm trying something different. I'll go when I can. And if I can't, that's okay. No beating myself up over a failure of

He's baaaaaaaaack...(soon)...

2011-08-24T02:14:00.003-04:00

The great Bill Moyers is coming back to television in January, 2012. Best news I've had in months. I think I'll celebrate by whipping out (and watching) my DVD of The Power of Myth.

A Gate at the Stairs: Thoughts, Observations

2011-08-22T21:50:00.000-04:00

Lorrie Moore's writing rips your heart to pieces and then asks plainly that you deal with it and move on. It is hard and unrelenting and also gentle and kind and wholly empathic. I've read reviews of her work that range from "brainy, humane, unpretentious and warm; seemingly effortlessly lyrical" (Jonathan Lethem, New York Times, 2009) to "jarringly cute," and loaded with "impossibly overblown

2011-08-21T11:32:00.002-04:00

I am quite sure that, at 11:30am on a Sunday, someone is smoking weed right outside my living room window. That, plus thunder and wind all swishy through the trees and, otherwise, quiet, make for a good start to the day.

Sorry, Gil -- it appears the Revolution is being streamed live via webcam.

2011-08-10T00:24:00.012-04:00

I read The Guardian regularly, and have followed their coverage of the News Corp/News International phone hacking scandal closely. Over the past week, I've been all over the UK riots. I sat on the subway home tonight thinking about how powerfully insulated the developed West is from the reality of the rest of the world. Think about the police states and dictatorships in Latin America, Southeast

This is the view outside my living room window. Pitter-patty rain; otherwise, silent. These are the best days to live in this apartment.

2011-06-23T13:07:00.002-04:00

Donald Rumsfeld Is a Lizard from Outer Space that Eats Mexican Babies

2011-06-23T02:21:00.005-04:00

The second season of Louis CK's show "Louie" premieres Thursday, June 23 at 10:30pm on FX. He is a fucking genius, and you should watch. I have no problem calling you an idiot and an asshole for not doing so.Until then, get a load of this:

Wha Happen?

2011-06-23T01:47:00.010-04:00

The War on Me is going about as well as Afghanistan. This and next week are intense, day job-wise. The program I work for begins next Monday and, because I'm only part time, I don't have enough hours to get everything done, so I effectively become full time. So I'm hammering away and, as I reach the saturation point, I am making some seriously stupid mistakes. Mostly careless, really, but also

War on Me

2011-02-09T00:57:00.004-05:00

I've just declared war on my consumer debt. Last summer's purchase of a brand new laptop, a new TV, and two air conditioners really set me back. This is unacceptable.I've also given myself two goals, both reasonably achievable:1) Run the Memorial Day Half Marathon in Lenox, MA.2) Sing a full opera role in my kinda-new fach.I need tangibles. It's the only way I can break out of this

NY Phil's 2011-12 Season

2011-02-05T21:40:00.004-05:00

The New Yorker's music critic Alex Ross has a really terrific blog post about the NY Philharmonic's upcoming season. He also mentions the recent rolling out of the Phil's digital archive, which has a tremendous amount of correspondence and documents detailing the organization's backroom inner workings. It includes access to Leonard Bernstein's conducting scores, a score of the Mahler 1 that the

Made in USA

2011-01-28T21:24:00.003-05:00

"This is America. This is the democracy you bring us." This is what an Egyptian holding a tear gas canister labeled "Made in the USA" said to Richard Engle, NBC News' Cheif Foreign Correspondent, who is currently reporting on the riots in Cairo.Everything we say and do matters. Everything.

Qurazy

2011-01-13T10:23:00.001-05:00

And once again, it seems, my oversensitivity caused me to read something into a situation that wasn't there. Breathe, Ranta. Breathe.

Idiot

2011-01-13T09:00:00.002-05:00

I hate when I say something that can be hurtful to someone, do it in the most clueless way, and only realize how insensitive it was hours later. I'm a fucking idiot. I must make it better.

"The anarchic cause of snow..."

2011-01-04T01:50:00.006-05:00

I took this photo at the end of last May and can't stop looking at it. There's something both luscious and restrained about the flower. The shape is inviting but there something really Victorian about the color (little naughty tiny yellow and white stripes peaking out, too!). Vivid and rich but antique and a bit untouchable. It's a seductive combination. This is a far-off dream. Five months away.

Becoming Less of an Asshole, One "Thank You" Note at a Time

2010-12-29T01:19:00.006-05:00

I'm really bad at sending cards at birthdays and holidays, and also "Thank You" notes. I haven't figured out quite why it's so difficult for me. I always tell myself that I'll get to it, but always find a reason to make it the lowest possible priority and, finally, to forget.It's not that I'm not grateful. I feel very grateful all the time. But I think I'm extremely self-involved. It's been

Meat the Family

2010-12-28T00:55:00.002-05:00

I ate the most perfectly cooked prime rib this weekend. I mean, it was perfect in every way -- the seasoning was generous but didn't overwhelm the flavor of the meat, which was an exquisite pink in the center and only less so by infinitely small grades as you got closer to the outside. And the thin strips of fat left clinging to its outside contained just the right amount of moisture. The

The Tyranny of the English Cathedral Choral Aesthetic

2010-12-23T16:50:00.002-05:00

Like a modern-day Benedict Arnold, Eric Whitacre gives flimsy, bullshit reasons why the British have better choirs than his fellow Americans.According to Whitacre, it's "tuning," "sight-reading," "tone," "knowledge."Give me a full, round, well-tuned Robert Shaw group any day. The sopranos are singing with round, clean, clear vibrato. Perfectly in tune and elegantly articulated. Here are two clips

Emptiness and Pine

2010-12-22T23:55:00.006-05:00

Blogs are self-indulgent. So is any kind of public writing. Some of it is really well done, and a lot of it is crap. Sometimes this blog is kinda interesting and sometimes it's kinda mastubatory. I'm not quite sure why I do it. Lately, I've had a hard time finding things I feel comfortable blathering on about publicly. So the blog is ignored and I feel guilty about it. Again, not sure why. I

2010-12-13T22:42:00.000-05:00

Part of the life thang, when it's satisfying, is feeling you matter to someone or something. When I close my eyes, I keep seeing a diminuendo marking. I prefer a double bar.

Baby Cupcakes, Baby Borg

2010-11-17T21:03:00.007-05:00

Quite a three weeks I've had. I have a million little things to say, none of which are particularly connected.Tonight I baked my first of cupcakes ever -- from scratch -- as a test batch for Thanksgiving dessert. But because I don't know how to do anything the easy or small way, I go for the Holy Grail of cupcakes. Red Velvet Cupcakes. I found two recipes -- one from Magnolia Bakery recipe and

sound that hamsters make when they do their spinny-wheel thing

2010-10-25T00:52:00.001-04:00

Ugh -- I hate this feeling.More energy than my body can handle, no real outlet for it. I feel like I'm gonna burst. I'd go for another run today (went out yesterday), but I'm still a little too on-and-off with my trots and it would probably end up with my right leg extremely pissed off at me.Usually, my Sunday morning mercenary work (singing for Jesus, getting paid) is enough to take it out of me

How to Help Gene Cranick

2010-10-11T17:08:00.006-04:00

Remember that poor guy, Gene Cranick, who lost his home (and more) to a fire because he forgot to pay a $75 fee to Obion County to guarantee service from the Fire Department? Now, there's a way to help him out with some cash.You may send a donation through postal mail at:Gene or Mildred Paulette CranickSpecial AccountC/O Heritage BankP.O. Box 1410Fulton, Kentucky 42041.You may also contribute

The List

2010-10-09T18:10:00.018-04:00

I was texting with a friend this afternoon and, after mentioning I wished I could afford to see a certain practitioner we've both used, started pecking out a list of things I really wanted to do. As I wrote, it occurred to me that I've never really written this stuff down.If I had the money to spend on a few things I'm itching to do, what would I spend it on?Here's what:Two voice lessons a

stay, stay, stay ...

2010-10-09T00:45:00.002-04:00

To what kind of thoughts, feelings, and behavior will fear of rejection and loneliness drive a person?